the awe ward

a flattering moment in my life was when i won an award for my portfolio in 2001.  out of 2500 portfolios that were submitted, only 125 received the Silver award (gold is soo overrated).  i was supposed to attend a celebration in Washington D.C. that year, but i never made it.  it also says that i was supposed to attend college the following fall but didn't make that either.  to be honest, i barely made it through high school due to my attendance.  in the end, it's hard to tell how much all of that stuff matters.....i guess it depends on the person, the life they unknowingly come to lead?  i eventually made my way back to school (art school in Toronto) but i frequently have a hard time believing in how much educational value i acquired versus the amount of student loans i long to expire.  could i have eventually gotten by on my own natural creative skills?  likely.  but i guess i would lose the experience of growth and conquering the fear of blindly reaching out to grab something not knowing if there's even something tangible to grasp onto.  nowadays i look back and wonder about regrets.  i sit in awe of the awkwardly awful moments it took to get where i am and i try to let them go.  it can be hard to move forward facing a persistent past.  just gotta keep looking ahead, past the hood ornament as my father used to say...

...an old article my grandmother sent me of an art achievement i received during my senior year...

...an old article my grandmother sent me of an art achievement i received during my senior year...